


A Daydream Away

by manquant



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 02:40:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1763181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manquant/pseuds/manquant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-Bahrain Coulson and May having a drinking session but it's more complicated than that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Daydream Away

**Author's Note:**

> I got the inspiration for this fic while listening to my iPod and trying to sleep - when the idea formed and I typed it on my phone to remind myself in the morning, there's just the urge to not stop writing until I finish it. I can't call it insomnia but that's what happened here.
> 
> "You're just a daydream away, I wouldn't know what to say if I had you. And I'll keep you a daydream away - just watch from a safe place so I never have to lose." (All Time Low - A Daydream Away)

"You're cheating."

She smirked before giving him a curt reply. "I don't do petty."

It was the seventh round. She's grinning at the fact that Coulson was evidently losing at the game he instigated. He had the audacity to challenge her in the first place. He was so confident he even gave her the choice of drink. The rule was simple : eleven consecutive shots per round. Whoever passes out first will have to give in to the terms set by the winner. He has no reason to blame her when they're done with this, it was all his fault. She has downed bottles and still aced the archery and marksmanship practicals the next morning. Melinda May doesn't get drunk but he persistently refused to believed that since their days at the Academy and he thought her good mood after a seamless execution of their first joint assignment as newly promoted Level Five agents would aid him in proving his point. Despite his intentions, she choose a relatively young variant of her favorite - she has to be considerate on his behalf. "I'm pretty sure you're off-guard today," were his first words to her as they sat down at the bar in her apartment.

"Is the car ride still your wager? That plus being a willing participant in my pranking escapades. Until I say otherwise."

"She has a name, y'know. Lola."

"Yeah, you've been parading her in front of me and anyone who has the patience to stand you proclaiming your adoration of a 1962 red Chevrolet Corvette."

"May, you're talking more. That's a good sign. And, she's two things I'm passionate about: S.H.I.E.L.D. and old things. Isn't she beautiful?"

"You forget a third. Or should I say, **your number one**? Captain America, ringing any bells? I think we should stop."

"No, May - the night's young! He counts as S.H.I.E.L.D. Have I ever told you the story about his shield?"

"Countless times." She rolls her eyes at him. He never tires of his Captain America stories. "Ready for the eighth?" 

"Speaking of the Cap, you'll be getting me those cards at the end of this night. I hope you're prepared to get them. Remember, mint condition."

"You talk a lot." It was a strategic move on his part. He's been searching high and low for those limited edition trading cards in his free time, now he's giving her the job.

And so, they go through another round. Obviously, she finished first before him. He's swaying back and forth, eyes closed, probably concentrating at hiding how drunk he is. He's failing miserably at this. 

"So, the whisky's not kicking in at all." She teases him, saying the words in a sing-song tone, as she gets another bottle. To his credit, this is fun. They've been drinking the whole night but as she recalls how uptight they have to be to ensure the desired outcome of the mission, this is an appropriate celebration. She'll have to restock, though but she doesn't think of it at the moment.

He made a sloppy attempt at raising his right hand. "Don't start."

"Your face's too red. Let's stop. Maybe I should fetch the medical stuff Barton got me last month. He said I need it because at times, I can drink too much."

"I'm sober enough, May. I see you're flushed too. He's right - you do drink too much."

She shrugs him off. "I have to unwind from time to time."

"Hey, you have to be mindful of your health, too. Pace yourself. Alcohol's bad for the liver."

"As if Mom's not enough, here you are."

He became still but she wasn't looking. "No, May. I'm serious."

"Okay, okay. All I'm saying is you worry too much. S.H.I.E.L.D. takes care of its assets."

At the mention of their agency, he steadies himself. "Next round."

"You sure? I'm still pouring down the next batch. Wave the white flag."

"As long as you're up, I'm staying." His speech is slurred. May knows he'll be sleeping the day away tomorrow.

They had three more rounds. She's starting to feel the increasing warmth the liquor leaves lingering in her neck. Meanwhile, he's either spilling the contents of the shot glass all over the bar top or dropping and breaking the glass altogether. He's beyond tipsy, holding everything clumsily.

"Four shot glasses? Really? That's it. We're ending this. Now."

"I still haven't proved my point."

"Well, I have proven mine. Phillip J. Coulson, you're too stubborn for your own good. **We stop now**."

"Does this mean you're conceding? I have beaten Melinda Qiaolian May the Great?"

"Why did you include my middle name? When did you start calling me '-the Great'? That's reserved for empire builders, review your history."

He winked at her. "You said my whole name first."

"Fair point but don't do it again."

"You sure it's just not about me breaking glass? That's unlucky, I heard."

She can't help but chuckle at how funny he puts it. He isn't even lucid to notice what he's saying. "Listen to yourself. But yes, I concede. If we go any further, it would be alcohol poisoning. The last thing I want to do is paperwork because I killed you." She dramatically pinches the bridge of her nose. "Over a childish bet."

"My cards." He cranes his neck and smiles widely. 

"Yes, I haven't forgotten. Now, let's go get you in bed. The guest room's a bit dusty but you understand we both just got home. Plus, that's better than leaving you on the sofa."

 

Melinda's still seeing straight but having the added weight of Phil leaning heavily on her made their supposed two-minute walk to five. They have to be careful, steer clear from any breakable furniture. Her mother won't appreciate if she comes to visit her daughter and everything's in a disarray. "Ugh, don't veer into the aquarium. Get a hold of yourself."

She propped more pillows as he takes off his socks. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it. This isn't the first time you're crashing in my apartment." She gets his jacket and drapes it on a nearby chair. The last thing he'll want is to find it crumpled.

"If it's a burden, I can still drive myself home."

She unbuttons his undershirt a bit more. He lost the necktie hours ago but he wouldn't give in to changing to one of her oversized t-shirts even if she threatened him. That's always him, the man in a suit. "You'll cover your beloved car in puke."

"Lola can fly fast."

"Coulson, you're not risking civilians seeing a flying car, are you?"

"Why do you have to be so good in a lot of things, May? You could have given me this one."

"I already did. You won."

He's gathering the blankets and she's a witness how he expertly wraps himself in it. It's cozy and it lulls him, he once explained. "Technically."

Since he's all settled, she's about to leave him but his hand caught her wrist. She turns to playfully swat his arm but his intense eyes made her pause. Their gazes locked until she remembers the state of her once pristine bar.

"Everything okay?"

He doesn't reply but his grasp on her tightens a bit. He's beckoning her. She sighs and sits beside him.

"If you don't mind, I have to go clean up the glass shards back there. You're their most likely victim. I don't want you looking like you just walked into a glass door."

She tries to suppress the laughter, to no avail. Imagining it is hilarious and he's envisioning the same scenario. He joins in.

When they got over it, he clears his throat. "Look, I'm sorry for the mess. You're also tired, jetlagged and you're tucking me in like this."

"I'm used to it. You should be grateful we don't have to immediately report to HQ tomorrow or else I wouldn't give in to this. Who had been the smart one and started this again?"

"I thought I could out-drink you."

"Out-drink me? We both know that's silly, Coulson."

"I had to try. I want to discourage you from harming yourself in my own little way. I'm trying to protect you."

She didn't expect him to answer like that.

"I'm neither the combat expert nor the ace pilot you are but I have my strengths." 

"I'm a specialist, I can fend for myself. Look at you."

"Well, I'm the field agent. Thoroughly wasted here and I didn't even have the guts to admit it."

"See?"

"That's not my point."

"What is the point, then?"

"You're strong, fearless, amazing in so many ways - you're always there for us but you still need someone to have your back."

"And you think that person is you?"

"Can I be?" 

She pursed her lips before answering him. "How long have we known each other again?"

"Uhhh... ten years, if you add the three from the Academy."

"Who's my partner?"

He pointed his index finger at himself.

"Did I have anyone else?"

"Nope." He's stunned at the realization.

She gives him an 'I-told-you-so' look complete with her eyebrows slightly raised before standing up. "You have to start sleeping otherwise I'll knock you out. You won't want your hangover getting worse, I'm warning you."

"You're probably not taking me seriously."  _He's going to be like this all night, isn't he?_ As if he heard her thoughts, he gave a retort. "This isn't an intoxicated stupor."

May started walking towards the door, her back to him. "It appears to be one to me. I mean it, go to bed." She switches off the lights.

The alcohol's effect worn off a bit because he managed to be nimble and envelop her into an embrace. "How about now?"

Her senses must have been dulled by the sheer amount of alcohol intake she had tonight. Otherwise, in another instance, she'd dodge this attempt. But here they are. She stiffened because he'd taken her aback but she eventually lets herself relax against him. "You've always been concerned about me." Her voice was gentler, laced with affection.

"How can I not? We choose this work and I've been thinking... Having our lives on the line all the time, it's hard. If anything happens to you-"

She takes his hands, wraps her fingers in his. "I won't let it." May eases herself from Coulson - not to break the embrace but to hug him back.

"Still, I'll follow you anywhere. You and me, we shouldn't have to say goodbye to the other one. See you later's fine but that's it." She wanted to turn but he nestles his head on the nape of her neck instead. "I would do my best, May. I trust you more, though. In all things, actually. Even my own life."

She doesn't find the right words to respond so she rested her head on his. She mused on how things led to them being in this situation.

They have been together for such a long time and neither bothered labeling what they have. Maybe they never will restrict themselves to one. Classmates and colleagues have always been bewildered when they refute the frequent claims of them dating or Coulson courting her. "We're really good friends" is the automatic reply but they are way past that phase, their relationship is so much more. He'd been the only one to not snicker when she volunteered to show a specific self-defense technique. It was the first day of classes, she exudes confidence but deep inside, she knew she had no acquaintance and she had braced herself for demeaning comments from strangers. Everyone's floored though at how swiftly she finished the demonstration. Even the class instructor's gaping but he just smiled like he believed her words that she could do it. He stood out to her that day and when he bumped into her again, he can't even properly introduce himself because he's extremely apologetic over spilling her food. She took his hand and assured him it wasn't a big deal. She told him her name. Her smile calmed him down. They're paired off ever since. Who knew Nick Fury's protégé would be working side by side with someone handpicked by Peggy Carter herself?

He's right with one thing - they opted to lead this kind of life. Being S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, no matter how high the stakes are, they'll consider preserving their own lives last if it mean ensuring the safety of those under their protection. Their chances of going back to 'normal citizens' is too slim unless they give up their work. The thought's improbable to her because who will be out there if not people like them? May cannot let this possibility pass her up either.

He's breathing steadily against her neck and is leaning more than usual. He isn't the most quiet person. She realizes he's been slumped onto her all this time. He passed out. 

She covers her face with both hands. "And here I thought about ki-" Before he can slide down to the floor, she hoists him up and places him in the bed. She shook her head as she watches over him. "I got them in advance, do you know that?" Only his soft snoring answered her. "Enjoy the slumber, Sleeping Beauty."

 

Coulson wakes up, fourteen hours later wincing about the sudden pang in his head. Last thing he remembers was giving May a tight back hug. He's trying to find courage all this time - wrong timing would lead to an awkward situation or broken bones for him. He thought she took it okay but apparently not. She warned him though, he should have stayed in bed and he didn't listen. The first thing he noticed was a black box with a lilac satin ribbon. There's a little card attached to it. It was filled with a beautiful, flowing script that's distinctly her handwriting.

 

> I found them before you mentioned it on the flight back from Macau because you're so pitiful rummaging every nook of every place we're assigned to for the completion of your dear collection. I was meaning to give it to you for your birthday but you earned this. I'm going to do grocery shopping. You should eat before you go, I cooked. I didn't wake you, you needed the day off.
> 
> P.S. I expect my apartment to remain as neat as when I left it. --- M

 

* * *

 

It was the first and last time May and Coulson talked about their personal feelings. He's too embarrassed to bring it up when he realized how the night actually ended but she cherishes it so much for how honest they have been to each other. They have been used to showing how invaluable they are to each other, be with small gestures or actions like taking a bullet or stab for the other but there was that one moment when they permitted themselves to openly declare it. It never fails to give her hope that in the end, present circumstances being at their most bleak notwithstanding, everything will turn out well. They have each other. The thought brought a small smile to her lips.

The sudden movement by the hand she has been clasping all this time brought her back to the present. Melinda May's on the bedside of the newly-appointed S.H.I.E.L.D. Director who was sleeping in the bedroom adjoining his office while she looks on.

Two hours ago, while making routine last minute checks on The Bus, she sensed a presence in the rear end of the hangar. With them being in the Playground and everyone else already sleeping at this time, no one should be up here except her - she doesn't completely rule out the possibility of intruder(s) but with the heightened security of one of the last of Fury's secret bases, she's sure they can't easily infiltrate the place unless they're already in. Another wolf. She won't stand risking the safety of the team so she quickly retrieves her ICEr from its compartment in the cockpit and she goes out, stealth as usual, to avoid alerting the other party.

She cannot breathe a sigh of relief even though it wasn't what she feared. In fact, it was worse than anything because she had anticipated it from Day One. She has repeatedly told herself she'll manage when it comes but if not for her honed instincts, she might have dropped the gun she was holding. Her grip tightened instead until her knuckles are white. This is why she included another specialist in the team assessment, to help her when her resolve wavers. Her knees almost buckled at the sight of him and the seemingly endless circuit of circles and lines inscribed on the walls. _Hypergraphia._ His words play in her mind just as chilling when she first heard it in her car after digging the flash drive that contains the video and when she accompanied him as he got the answers he sought. "...we don't know if it was the biology at play or simply the awareness of what was done..." The rest of his narration trailed off as she forces herself to regain her bearings and do something.

"Coulson." A lump forms in her throat as soon as she spoke his name. She should be strong now, more than ever.

She swallowed it and tried again. "Phil." She approached him, struggling with every step. She placed her free hand on his shoulder. Melinda May doesn't easily tremble but she is, right now.

"You can stop now. It's... it's me." His hands doesn't stop but at the sound of her voice, he turns his head to face her. That was the only sign of recognition from him. He bore a blank expression and his glassy eyes do not even see her. He held her hand and for a moment, she thought everything would be fine. Instead, he undid her hold on him, shoved her and turned back to proceed with his etchings.

She has not cried in years. When a stray tear rolled down her cheek, she can't even afford to be surprised at all - seeing the man she vowed to protect from everything gradually deteriorating right in front of her is more than what life usually hands her. So, she resorted to the only thing she knew she could do to stop him (even temporarily) from doing this to himself. The ICEr was designed not to create a loud gunshot noise but May could feel her surroundings shatter once again as she pulled the trigger and the room was filled with deafening silence.

"Melinda?"

She was unsure whether to be comforted or be even more afraid at his reaction. _He has no idea. He wasn't aware **this** is happening_. "I came because I heard you. Another nightmare? Go back to sleep."

Thankfully, he doesn't argue. Melinda gently eases him back to bed, her eyes averted because if she looks at him, her carefully constructed control might crumble altogether. The day's long enough with them dealing with HYDRA and Fitz' uncertain condition. Her overall exhaustion aside, the cracks are innumerable already.

"I'm right here, Phillip." As he closes his eyes, she's wishing so badly it would be enough.


End file.
